When Mom Was Wonder Woman

Birkenstocks are back and why wouldn’t they be? Peppermint Pattie rocked the heck out of those things back in the day. I’ve also noticed scrunchis and high-waisted mom jeans and I saw a Caboodle at Target yesterday. I literally just threw out those same things when cleaning out the attic. Dang it. I’m holding out for the wooden Dr Scholl’s with the buckle though. I hope those come back. They were great. I remember my mom running and simultaneously trying to take off one shoe so she could threaten to hit my brother with it. She never did but it was still terrifying. 

It would’ve been so cool to be a mom back in the 70’s and 80’s. Moms back then had feathered hair, drank Tab, and drove giant cars. You didn’t disrespect mom. My mom could shut us up with just a look and had the reflexes of a cat. She was like Wonder Woman. She alone was our seatbelt. My kids will never experience the terror of their mom stiff arming them across the chest when she slammed on the brakes to prevent a collision. Somehow she thought she could protect us from certain injury with just her arm, and she did. Imagine the brake power it took to stop a 40-foot powder blue Oldesmobile from rear ending the Buick in front of them. Luckily we didn’t have A/C so we’d stick to the dark blue pleather seats.  That and my mom’s forearm saved my life on many occasions. If I did that my kid would end up with a smartphone down her throat and my plastic car would be ready for recycling. 

I think the alternating threats of violence and fierce protection from harm is how my parents raised four pretty decent kids. I’m not sure that would fly today but seriously we were too scared to mess up and it worked. There wasn’t such a thing as “Use your words”. We shut the heck up. Yeah,  I like being a mom in today’s world just fine but I sure would’ve liked it better back then. 

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