All That Static

I used to think dryer sheets were a waste of money like bottled water or organic bananas, unless you eat the peel-in which case you are weird, until I ran out of them and folded my first load of laundry. Ridiculous. It took me at least thirty minutes to get through one load. Thirty minutes! Every piece of clothing was clinging to my body for dear life and I literally could not shake it. The door bell rang and I had to answer the door with a sock stuck to the side of my head and the rest of my hair standing on end. Normally I’d say it’s not a good look for me but I don’t think I’ll see that salesman again so it’s cool. Not only were all of the clothes sticking to me but I was shocking everything like a live wire-my kids, animals, the mailman. I felt bad about the dog but the cat not so much since he seems to be quietly plotting my death anyway. So now I’m at work with my scrubs clinging to my body in a most unflattering way. No one else seems to be having this problem and it’s a tad uncomfortable. I can’t survive another load of laundry like this so I guess I’ll need to go buy dryer sheets on my way home. Lord knows I can’t skip a day doing laundry or it multiplies like Gremlins.

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