Who Needs Sleep Anyway?

In August my husband and I celebrated 22 years of marriage. I still love him, I really do, but marriage isn’t always easy. Like soundly sleeping and hearing him trying to fix a leaking toilet at 2am. Deep in a dream I couldn’t comprehend what the clanking metal and dripping water sounds were. Was he remodeling the bathroom? Was he working on a chain gang? Lights blazing like it was noon, he worked on that toilet for a good 30 minutes. When he finally came back to bed and fell asleep 20 seconds later, lucky him, the cat snuck in and made a mad dash across our foreheads. Arms and legs flying, my husband jumped up and ripped the covers clear off of me. Geez. The two of them went 3 rounds before I saw the silhouette of a cat flying and the door slam shut. He ended up having the mother of all allergy attacks since he is allergic to cats. To convince him to let me get a cat, I swore to him that it would strictly live outside only. Oops. He settled back in bed with a wad of toilet paper shoved up his left nostril, sorry ladies he’s all mine, grumbling about “your damn cat” and 10 seconds later I heard snoring. Are you kidding me right now? Meanwhile, I lay there freezing thinking about everything and nothing with the irrationality you only experience in the middle of the night. What was that noise? Do I smell smoke? I need to clean out the fridge. I got up and checked the house for monsters, faulty wiring, and expired milk. I went back to bed wide awake where I stared at the ceiling for another hour listening to the still running toilet and Darth Vader sleeping next to me. Now I know how Lucy and Ricky made it work. Separate beds and a husband that worked nights. When I finally fell back to sleep it seemed like 5 seconds before my alarm dinged welcoming me to the new day. Well this should be a fabulous one.
Marriage isn’t easy. It’s survival of the fittest. Some days I think my husband hung the moon and the stars. Other days I just want to punch him. It’s a delicate balance but for better or worse, it’s a great life.

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