December 11, 2017
Embrace the outtakes. Yesterday we took our annual family pictures. With a whopping total of 202 pictures taken there are exactly 4 that are decent. FOUR. Only one of those was a whole-family picture and clearly required help from a higher power since it was taken at church. For those of you that have salvaged more than that I applaud you. If you have more than two kids you deserve public recognition, maybe a monument. Family picture day is the worst. Instantly my kids became wild animals. It was like herding feral cats. In most of the pictures I look like I am in pain and my static filled hair is plastered to my face. I guess I haven’t perfected threatening my kids while smiling, seriously I’m not a ventriloquist. I kept thinking, “What is with this weather and who are these primates calling me mom?” Here’s some of the dialogue from this experience-“Don’t touch me”…“Omg, open your eyes”…“I’m starving”… “Get the dog out of the pool”…“Don’t get my fat arms in the picture” (that was me)…“Stop crying-there better not be tears in these pictures”…“Who smiles like that?”… “Take off your sunglasses”… “Seriously, what is wrong with you?”…and my personal favorite, “Hey Mom! You look pregnant!” Good times. So, I decided just to post the outtakes. Why not? Everyone posts the best ones. I’d rather post the ones that shows our true selves. We are funny and messy, sassy and obnoxious. We are real. For better or worse-We are The Tart’s. Merry Christmas from our perfectly imperfect family to yours.